.jpg)
Directed By: Michael Oblowitz
Starring:
William Forsythe as Tom Reed
Hunter Tylo as Amelia Lockhart
Jeffrey Combs as Dr. Preston King
Official Rating: 4/10
If you read my review of SyFy's Dinoshark, you know that I can appreciate the low-budget schlock that these made-for-television movies can provide. They're stupid...they're silly...but they're still pretty fun in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way. So, still smacking with guilt for liking (and recommending) the undeniably hokey Dinoshark, I sat down to watch Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, a SyFy Original Movie about a half-man, half-hammerhead monster terrorizing people on an island. With the SyFy Channel's sure-fire recipe for creating B-movie creature features and a cast that includes William Forsythe and Hunter Tylo, how could it possibly go wrong? Well, to my surprise, it actually misses the mark...not by much, but enough to make me not recommend it. Why? Well, first of all, its titular monster, the dreaded hammerhead-human hybrid, takes a backseat to a bunch of faux-military thugs who really become the movie's primary villain. Though the hammerhead does rack up the body count, he (or it or whatever you call the thing) only arrives just before someone is going to be munched upon and leaves directly after. The rest of the movie is filler, pitting our heroes against the aforementioned soldiers. That, to me, is just not as compelling as watching a walking hammerhead eat people!
So, I bet you are wondering how the filmmakers explained the existence of the monster in the first place. Dinoshark used the always trusty "thawed out of a glacier," though the "born from a rip in the time-space continuum" is probably my favorite. The hammerhead-human-thing was created by a mad scientist, Dr. Preston King (Jeffrey Combs), who was researching the use of stem cells; he injected shark stem cells into his cancer-plagued son and created the hybrid that is now killing people. Hoping to create the world's new dominant race, a bunch of these monsters, he invites a group of scientists, including his son's former fiance (Hunter Tylo), to his research island. He wants revenge on some of them for stealing his earlier ideas (or something along those lines), but he hopes that the bond his son once shared with Tylo's character, Amelia, will give him the desire to procreate. I have a theory and I believe that Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy proves it: in a creature feature, if the script needs an audio and visual presentation to describe the creation of the creature, then the screenwriters are probably overthinking it. If this were a theatrical release, I could understand them going into so much detail. But, this is a SyFy Original Movie and, frankly, the source of the hammerhead-human-thing is rather insipid, though it is described in excruciating detail and then reinforced constantly throughout the movie. Get over it, people; you're not reinventing the wheel. We've seen it all before!
Its overindulgence is compounded by a subplot, involving a bunch of genetically-altered women who Dr. King has tried to mate with his son. Some of them were killed immediately; others were impregnated, but gave birth to stillborn offspring. This is why Dr. King wants to use Amelia and, therefore, becomes an integral part of the plot. However, I found it to be completely unnecessary and, even worst, distracting. As I watched more and more of Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, I couldn't help but notice that it seemed as though it was constantly trying to overshadow the whole reason we were there: the hammerhead-human-thing. I mean, the filmmakers didn't even give it a cool nickname like "frankenfish" or "dinoshark." I have been ripping my hair out trying to figure out what to call it for this review; I'm thinking "hammerhuman" would have worked. All of this is unfortunate because, whenever the monster is unleashed and allowed to terrorize our group of potential victims, Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy actually lives up to its potential...sure, that potential is limited to that of a SyFy Original Movie, but that's certainly better than nothing. In the end, though, the culmination of everything it has to offer is undeniably disappointing.
When I watch a SyFy Original Movie, I want a movie that is quick and easy. I don't need excessive detail or various subplots, just some whacked-out monster picking off random people. I found Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, then, to be almost awful, simply because it took a very simple recipe and somehow screwed it up so needlessly. In its defense, though, there is some fun to be had here. William Forsythe revels in his role as a technology technician who suddenly becomes a Rambo-style vigilante. Hunter Tylo is less enthusiastic about her role, but she is beautiful and more intriguing than the typical SyFy Channel heroine. Finally, Jeffrey Combs chews scenery as the vile mad scientists that sets the movie in motion; his performance captures the over-the-top silliness that makes SyFy Original Movies so appealing. All of this effort is wasted, however, on a meandering script that is rarely as guiltily fun as it should be. I think that this movie's biggest problem is that it takes itself a little too seriously; it is trying to be smart and innovative, when it should simply embrace its silliness and be entertaining. It isn't hard to make a good SyFy Original Movie and yet somehow director Michael Oblowitz and screenwriters Monty Featherstone and Howard Zemski get it wrong. Let's just chalk this one up to misguidance, ignore it, and move on.
So, I bet you are wondering how the filmmakers explained the existence of the monster in the first place. Dinoshark used the always trusty "thawed out of a glacier," though the "born from a rip in the time-space continuum" is probably my favorite. The hammerhead-human-thing was created by a mad scientist, Dr. Preston King (Jeffrey Combs), who was researching the use of stem cells; he injected shark stem cells into his cancer-plagued son and created the hybrid that is now killing people. Hoping to create the world's new dominant race, a bunch of these monsters, he invites a group of scientists, including his son's former fiance (Hunter Tylo), to his research island. He wants revenge on some of them for stealing his earlier ideas (or something along those lines), but he hopes that the bond his son once shared with Tylo's character, Amelia, will give him the desire to procreate. I have a theory and I believe that Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy proves it: in a creature feature, if the script needs an audio and visual presentation to describe the creation of the creature, then the screenwriters are probably overthinking it. If this were a theatrical release, I could understand them going into so much detail. But, this is a SyFy Original Movie and, frankly, the source of the hammerhead-human-thing is rather insipid, though it is described in excruciating detail and then reinforced constantly throughout the movie. Get over it, people; you're not reinventing the wheel. We've seen it all before!
Its overindulgence is compounded by a subplot, involving a bunch of genetically-altered women who Dr. King has tried to mate with his son. Some of them were killed immediately; others were impregnated, but gave birth to stillborn offspring. This is why Dr. King wants to use Amelia and, therefore, becomes an integral part of the plot. However, I found it to be completely unnecessary and, even worst, distracting. As I watched more and more of Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, I couldn't help but notice that it seemed as though it was constantly trying to overshadow the whole reason we were there: the hammerhead-human-thing. I mean, the filmmakers didn't even give it a cool nickname like "frankenfish" or "dinoshark." I have been ripping my hair out trying to figure out what to call it for this review; I'm thinking "hammerhuman" would have worked. All of this is unfortunate because, whenever the monster is unleashed and allowed to terrorize our group of potential victims, Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy actually lives up to its potential...sure, that potential is limited to that of a SyFy Original Movie, but that's certainly better than nothing. In the end, though, the culmination of everything it has to offer is undeniably disappointing.
When I watch a SyFy Original Movie, I want a movie that is quick and easy. I don't need excessive detail or various subplots, just some whacked-out monster picking off random people. I found Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, then, to be almost awful, simply because it took a very simple recipe and somehow screwed it up so needlessly. In its defense, though, there is some fun to be had here. William Forsythe revels in his role as a technology technician who suddenly becomes a Rambo-style vigilante. Hunter Tylo is less enthusiastic about her role, but she is beautiful and more intriguing than the typical SyFy Channel heroine. Finally, Jeffrey Combs chews scenery as the vile mad scientists that sets the movie in motion; his performance captures the over-the-top silliness that makes SyFy Original Movies so appealing. All of this effort is wasted, however, on a meandering script that is rarely as guiltily fun as it should be. I think that this movie's biggest problem is that it takes itself a little too seriously; it is trying to be smart and innovative, when it should simply embrace its silliness and be entertaining. It isn't hard to make a good SyFy Original Movie and yet somehow director Michael Oblowitz and screenwriters Monty Featherstone and Howard Zemski get it wrong. Let's just chalk this one up to misguidance, ignore it, and move on.
No comments:
Post a Comment